Marriage Restoration (Nov 24, 2014)
My husband, John and I moved to Hong Kong 6 years ago from the US. I found out nine months ago that he has been having an affair for a couple of years. I was in disbelief and devastated because he was such a trustworthy man for as long as I have known him. I was willing to forgive him, since we did love each other and we had 13 years of history together. Unfortunately, he continued to meet up and had close contact with the other woman. He said that he still loves me, but he has strong feelings for her, and he didn't know what to do. He was confused and not sure about our future together. He claimed that he was frustrated with me in many ways, and he felt rejected and unloved for many years. I realized that John and the other woman have a close bonding to each other both sexually and emotionally for a long period of time. I was asked to give him time to deal with the situation. But it’s not working well at all. He was distant and unaffectionate. The messaging back and forth and phone calls in private between them drove me absolutely mad and the most hurtful thing was that he continued to lie about seeing her, and came home with strong sense of perfume smell after being with her almost every Saturday night. I felt guilty of my past mistakes by not meeting his needs, and I was trying to make it up by making lifestyle changes, and being kind to him despite of his ongoing betrayal. I sensed that God want me to be patient, continue to be a good wife and allow Him to work on our marriage. But it has been very hard for me. I was going through each day like an emotional basketcase (anger, sadness, disappointment, hurt). I resent John’s selfishness and hard-heartedness. He showed little interest in seeking help to save our marriage. Besides the relationship with the other woman, we also experienced financial problems which added more tension between us. He blamed me for not contributing and about 2 months ago he said that he was very unhappy and wanted a separation. I was forced to move out with a 3 day notice, and he also left the apartment to be with the other woman. I was so torn apart, angry and devastated. John seemed to be fine moving on although he claimed that he's in pain and sorrow deep down inside. He kept saying that he loves me and wanted to see me after separation and there is still a chance for us to get back together. John believes in God, but he is not a committed Christian at all. I am asking you to please pray for him that God will reveal Himself to him, soften his heart, help him to let go of the other relationship, and give him strength to resist temptation from lust and the evil one. Please also pray for me to find peace of mind and stay faithful to the Lord. I haven't given up on my marriage yet. I am clinging to Christ Jesus for guidance, and to resolve our problems and mend our hearts. All things are possible with God and I trust and believe that He will restore our marriage and take it to the fullest. Please also pray for me to find peace and stay faithful to the Lord. I need clear direction from Him on every aspect of my life, especially my career path right not. Thank you very much for your time. May God's will be done on earth as it’s in heaven. Through Christ, Janet
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